What It’s Like to Have Anxiety

Think back to a time when you got caught for doing something wrong by an authority-figure and at the time of getting caught your heart was racing to the point where it literally ached, your face felt hot and you felt like crying. I’m sure every single human being has gone through this feeling at least once during their youth, because it is normal. But, imagine having that feeling over something smaller such as a test grade or being late to a practice. Imagine having that same painful feeling over something as small as wondering why one of your assignments says 0/10 in the online grade book. That’s what anxiety is like.

One of my friends has never experienced an anxiety attack (lucky her) and the best way I could explain it to her is getting feelings/thoughts so mixed up all at once to the point where it’s effecting your actual body, causing you to feel pressure and to barely be able to breathe. I told her that the reason these attacks happen more frequently to certain people is because if one has anxiety, they overthink. A lot. Example: If someone without anxiety received  a text message from a guy they liked that said “Okay.” they most likely would not have thought anything of it. Here’s how that exact situation can play out for someone who has struggles with anxiety. This person may begin to think: Wait a minute; he never texts the full word “okay” he always says “ok” did I do something wrong? And the O is capitalized! He never texts with capital letters! And the period? I’ve never seen him actually put a period at the end of his text. What did I do? Why is he mad at me? Maybe he’s talking to another girl now.

That example may seem a little silly, but it is actually a very accurate portrayal of anxiety. Personally, the smallest difference in how a person talks to me can cause me to conjure up a bunch of negative scenarios that could explain why they said what they said.

I am going to use a specific situation to explain my next point. I think the worst feeling is knowing people don’t believe me when I say I struggle with anxiety. Something that really, really annoyed me today that actually gave me the idea to write this was when a girl I hang around a lot due to mutual friends told me I use anxiety as an excuse to “not do things.” I was actually quite shocked when she said that because I had previously explained my anxiety to her since whenever I am around a person a lot I think they should know that part of me as it may effect my mood and the way I react to certain things. She acted as if she understood, but apparently she does not understand at all. After telling me that I use anxiety as an excuse she referred to a time when we were on a hike and I was very tired. There was a steep hill coming up and I stopped and had a full-blown anxiety attack in public because of the thought of going up the hill for some reason triggered my anxiety big time. She thinks I “used my anxiety” as an excuse not to go up the hill yet I did eventually go up.

I guess what I’m trying to get across is that what people need to understand is that it isn’t possible to “use” anxiety because you can’t control it! You don’t know when small things are going to go wrong. You can’t decide “Okay, right now I’m going to have a full-on anxiety attack to get out of doing something.” I personally think it is quite ignorant to think that is a possibility. That that’s not at all how it works. I hope someone reading this who doesn’t understand what anxiety is like truly learned from this, even if it’s one person.

Pros and Cons of Religion Through the Eyes of a Teen

Religion was created as an attempt to solve the one mystery humankind can not and most likely will not ever solve: what will happen to us after death. There are thousands of religions out there, I could make one up right now if I wanted to, that have their own interpretations of the answer to this same question. Some religions are more widespread than others (aka Islam, Catholicism, Buddhism, Hinduism)…etc, and I personally believe that the reason for these religions soaring above others is the time in which they were created and high-power people preaching them; not because of the so called “proof within the books.” I have grown up specifically around Christianity, so I will be referring to it a lot.

I consider it a privilege to have grown up in an atheist family. It has given me the environment in which I feel comfortable studying and understanding spirituality within many different religions, not just one religion. Many of my peers have grown up in Christian families and I always think to myself, “If this same person were to have been born into an atheist family, there’s no way in hell they would be a Christian right now.” That’s just the way it goes the majority of the time. In most cases, people do not gain a religious affiliation once raised without one. It is hard to do so when you have been learning the same things for 18 years.

I have personally gone to Christian church with my friends before-not to try and join the religion-but to learn what Christianity is all about. I was open about being an atheist, and people did try to “convert” me many times (keep in mind I was about 13 years old). I listened to the stories and the reasoning behind why the Christian religion was “true,” but all this proof came from the same book that was not written by God or Jesus themselves. I would think to myself, “How could this be proof when these people could have easily made up the religion and all the ‘miracles’ that had to happen for it to be true?”

I still technically have not had anyone answer this question for me, other than to say it is all faith. All of this belief boils down to faith which is something someone builds up from being exposed to a certain idea, even a scientifically impossible one, for so long with so many adults and smart minds telling you it’s true.

I think that those who say you need some sort of religion to live a happy life are nothing but wrong for various reasons. If you are a good person just to be one as opposed to for a higher power/to have a good “after life,” you are, in my mind, an even better person. If you are not focusing your energy on worrying about what’s going to happen after life, you are living a much more fulfilling life then someone who is spending at least one full day a week thinking about it and making sure they’re living their life “correctly.” The reason I put correctly in quotations is because people have many different definitions of living their life correctly. Not a single person needs a higher power to tell them what to do and what not to do, it’s just that some people find comfort in it. They don’t ever have to question if what they are doing is right or wrong, because someone already told them.

This leads me to my final reason as to why so many people can believe in an abundance of miracles that go completely against science. It’s the feeling of comfort you get. There’s a reason that so many people join a religion right when one of their close loved ones are dying. You find comfort in the idea that there is going to be a whole other life for them once they die. I agree, that’s comforting, but it is not realistic when looking at science. I think it depends on the person and their personality, but I can not personally believe in something that goes against everything I know to be scientifically possible. It’s hard for me to understand why so many people can so easily do it once they have a fully developed mind that knows what can and can’t be possible, but once again, it has to be faith because there’s no other explanation.

The only reason I am even the slightest bit against religion is its role in our US government. There should be  zero religion within our government, but it is everywhere. Christianity, the most widely followed religion in the US, effects what governmental choices are made such as gay marriage laws, women’s rights laws, drug laws…etc. I think the idea of religion and how it comforts many people is fantastic but if it is effecting those who do not follow a certain widely-followed religion within a country, there is a problem. If someone is voting against another person’s natural rights due to their religion, there is a problem.